Lifted Burdens

There are things I look back at now and see through the eyes of reflection that make me very thankful. They also make me hang my head and wonder why I allowed worry to engulf me at times.

Psalm 50:15 Call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you will honor me.

Having a child with a genetic disease means most life insurance companies will not insure them. For years this thought would creep up into my mind. How would I have the money to bury my son if he died before me?

CF is a very expensive disease for families. Lots of medical bills and medications. Travel to and from medical facilities, stays in hospitals and hotels, equipment and the list goes on.

There were times I trusted and there were times I worried.

So many of you have helped ease our burdens. Thank you. We are so grateful for all the support we received and are still receiving.

• Thank you to all those who lifted us up in prayer. They were all heard and answered.
• Thank you Derek for giving of all of your time for Mikey's funeral preparations. He would not allow one second of his time to be charged.
• To Radar who would not allow us to be burdened with any amount insurance didn't pay for the ambulance ride home.
• Thank you to Grandma VanDeurzen who allowed Mike to be buried on their plot.
• Thank you to so many friends and relatives who gave money to help pay for Mike's medical and burial expenses.
• Thank you to Uncle David, Aunt Renee and my girlfriend Jean for helping financially with Mike's expenses these last couple of difficult years when the expense became overwhelming.
• Thank you to Brandi and Julie for helping raise awareness and money to help with Mike's expenses.
• Thank you to my girlfriend Gail who came immediately and stayed until the end. Working tirelessly even though she struggles with her own chronic illness.
• Thank you to my girlfriend Pam who brought food and shampoo and things I needed.
• Thank you to the many people who brought food to the house. I don't even know who you all are. I didn't see anyone who brought food except my mom and Brandi (Julie brought salsa and cookies). It was just there when I would come downstairs. Bless you.
• Thank you to all of the friends and relatives who helped us take care of Richie and David.
• To Johnna, Cathy, Kay and others who took charge and put the food out for others to have. I was so out of it I didn't even offer Mike and Kay anything to eat or drink when they first came. When Mike and I talked to Mikey and I told them his dad could come and stay, I was extending an open invitation but then we got to our house and things got crazy. Thank you for your forgiveness you guys.
• Thank you to Kay who brought water and hand sanitizer and all sorts of stuff.
• Thank you to Amy who ran to the store or errands on more than one occasion yet was still there every time Mike called for her.
• Thank you Amy S for the Chapstick.
• Mike and Dianne P who counseled with Mike so many times and talked him through many rough patches in his life.
• Thank you Rhonda, Amy, Pastor Parson's, Beth and others for my cokes.
• Thank you to Mike's brothers who would come at a moments notice if we needed anything. Some ran to the pharmacy for drugs, others on errands, some came in the middle of the night because Mike just needed to know that they were there.
• Thank you to Scott who came in the middle of his work week and camped out in the hospital parking lot.
• Thank you to Dennis for making the trip so many times. Mike needed you and you were there.
• Thank you to the women who made the purple ribbons.
• Thank you to the folks who made bracelets.
• Thank you Julie for the flash mob. . . unbelievable memories.
• To the Pastors and staff at Good Shepherd Lutheran for allowing all of us to have Mike's visitation there.
• To the Pastors and staff at Faith who allowed us to fit around tight schedules. Allowed Mike's bikes to be kept there with him. For understanding the brothers needed to keep watch.
• Thank you to Pastor Naumann for an incredible sermon that has brought peace to all of us.
• Thank you to Pastor Parsons, Haugley, Weigand and Naumann for the devotions. Thank you Pastor Haugly for giving Mike Communion.
• Thank you to Uncle Bob and Uncle Scott for honoring Mike's request to sing Breathe. I can't imagine how hard that was to do at Mikey's funeral. But they did it.
• Thank you to Auggy and Mongo who wrote poems for Mike and shared them with the rest of us.
• Thank you to everyone who spoke at Mike's funeral.
• Thank you to Madyson for the Hero speech she shared with Mike and then with all of us.
• Thank you Erin and Brooke for your counsel
• Thank you to Uncle Jim's sisters and others who helped organize and serve the lunch after the burial.
• Thank you to everyone who brought food for the lunch.
• Thank you to everyone who sent plants and flowers. They are all lovely.  Thank you to Mike Bassett for the two trees. They are planted in our yard. I couldn't find your address to thank you.
• Thank you to the THMC for honoring Mike's last request that the club have his motorcycle. This was a difficult request to fill. It was Mike's only asset and with medical bills and such it would not be easy to fulfill this request. The club purchased the bike for well over its value to fulfill Mikey's request and to help alleviate some of Mike's expenses. God bless you all.
• And to Heartland Hospice for the storm we created. It was no easy thing to get Mike home and make all the arrangements in a moments notice. There was not time to work things out perfectly. They took him anyway and we all did the best we could. They came back every time we needed them. They continue to call and offer comfort through our grief.

Thank you to everyone who showed up - no matter how you did it. You showed up and gave support. I never could have imagined how God was going to work this all out and how awesomely he would do it. I didn't need to worry. I only needed to trust him. How silly I was.

Matthew 6:33-34 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Thank you to all of you for helping to lift our burdens. God bless each and every one of you. Peace.

I didn't get the entire song but I will share the piece I did get. So awesome of these Uncle's of Mike's to do this for him. 

Keep loving it forward with us. Blessings to you!

One Day at a Time

It has been a while since I updated my blog. Goodness so much is going on. I started my new job; we decided to sell our house, Gary got married; Mike went back in the hospital; Jean came to visit from Dallas; Mike came home on IVs for a week; we decided NOT to sell our house; David had eye surgery; and school started. It all took me so very close to the edge but God is so good. He is faithful and provided the strength and people exactly where and when we needed them. I am again, grateful and humbled by the goodness God shows us through people he puts in our path.

First, as I promised, I will keep Mike at the top of my blog to update everyone. Mike went into the hospital this past time (July right after his birthday) with an FEV1 of 28%. Heartbreaking. He was disappointed that his function got so low. He was trying to get in before they got so low, hoping that he would be able to stay more on top of things in hopes of coming up higher at the end of his course of IV antibiotics. Unfortunately, his cough started getting so bad he couldn't keep much food down. He dropped a lot of the weight he had been working so hard at gaining. He said he could not handle another two weeks in the hospital in isolation. He did one week inpatient and came home and did another week at home. He is a fighter. I was overwhelmed by my new job and didn't help him at all. I know Missy is a big help and I so appreciate others that pitch in. Thank you all. Thankfully, when Mike returned to have his port flushed and do PFTs his FEV1 had come up to 50%. While living daily on only 50% of the lung function we are all used to, Mike is always so thankful to be out of transplant range. There is a big difference between that 28 and the 50%. That is for another blog post. We continue to appreciate all your prayers of support and words of encouragement. Mike is dancing again. He has been doing protein shakes and using his feed tube and has gained back some weight. He looks good. He has a couple of great opportunities with dancing coming up and I'm hoping to find some balance so I can see him dance. God willing. And if you ever get the chance to see Mike and Missy dance, take it. It is awesome. They dance as one and it takes my breath away. I am going to try and video tape it soon. Frank and Julie you have done an awesome job! Missy and Mike - keep up the hard work!

My new job is great and hard and overwhelming and fun and . . . The learning curve is difficult. Partially because I am a bit of a perfectionist and I want to know it all now and be as productive as possible. The other part is because it is a new position so there isn't someone there to "train" me. I am trying to find out where I can best help and support my boss. I'm learning as much as possible and applying my experience. I have to say I have a wonderful boss who is very supportive and complimentary. We seem to really connect and work well as a team. I am also blessed to work with some incredibly talented people. It truly amazes me. Most companies I've worked for have at least a couple people who can kind of be annoying because they don't care, or they just lack skills or drive. I still haven't met anyone like that where I work. I am in awe of the talent I get to work with on a daily basis. I'm learning a ton from all these people. What a blessing for me.


In July this beautiful couple got married. Congratulations to Gary and Chelsea. It was just a beautiful day, a beautiful ceremony and a memorable day of family and fun. Gary and Mike were in the same class in grade school. During the video when I saw pictures of Mike and Gary together as kids I got choked up. I looked over at my sister and could see by the look on her face the emotion that only another mother could sense. So happy for your child and his accomplishments - all tangled up with the emotion of closing a chapter in your life while another one opens. Gary will always be special as I got to see him grow up more closely than I have gotten to with other nieces and nephews. I remember the computer lab I monitored while Gary and his friends practiced typing. Seems like yesterday. May God bless your life together Gary and Chelsea!



The end of July a friend of mine came to visit from Dallas. We haven't seen each other in years. It was difficult to try and plan time together given all the things that can come up that can't be controlled in my life right now. But Jean and I decided to just go for it. We set a date and she got airline tickets. It was funny because sure enough, as soon as the flights were booked I was offered my job. Mike was in the hospital when she came but we planned for this too and Jean flew into Madison. I picked her up at the airport and we headed right to the hospital to see Mike. I had been at work all morning and then at the airport. Jean had just been stuck on an airplane for a few hours so we needed to gown up to be sure Mike was safe from germs. I didn't want to take any chances. But we still had fun and grabbed a quick picture. Of course there wasn't a nurse around but we got a goofy picture. Thanks, Jean and Mike for putting up with my photo fetish. Jean and I left the hospital and walked up and down State Street. Jean bought me dinner and then we ran to the grocery store and she bought some excellent wine and beer and we came home. We just hung out and had such a wonderful time. It has taught me that I need to take time to refuel. I am so thankful to have friends like Jean who help me slow down and smell the roses (or the incredible red wine ;)). On Saturday I allowed myself to be pampered. (Thank you to Angie and her family for the gift certificates - they were finally put to good use!) We had massages and I got a pedicure and Jean got a manicure. We laughed and caught up and reminisced. It was awesome. On Sunday she helped me figure out my benefits for my new job. That was so kind of her to help because I was overwhelmed with it all at the time. The advice she gave to Paul and I is so appreciated. Thank you so much for all you did Jean. Love, love, love you girl! I can't wait until you come again!

The beginning of August was hectic with Mom working full time. David needed his fourth eye surgery and I was torn. Again, God provided. My friend Gail came over and spent the night and she and Paul left with David at 5 O'clock in the morning and headed to the hospital in Sheboygan. I went into work. This was such a difficult decision. David came out of surgery kicking and screaming like he did the last three times. Gail's help was immense. She and Paul worked together to keep David from rubbing his eyes and settled him down. After being drugged and taking a long nap they were able to bring him home around lunch time. Gail is a saint for giving her love to my child in this way. God has blessed me with such awesome friends. David was bright eyed and untraumatized by the experience by the time I got home from work. While I wish I could say his eyes are perfect now they are still better than they were. We are praying he won't need any additional surgeries and that too is a blessing. Thank you for all the help Gail! Love, love, love you!

August means the beginning of school for us. This also meant another transition. Paul went back to work and the boys are all off in school now. Here are some pics of the yearly tradition in our house.

Richie is a big "upper grader" now. He started 5th grade with Mrs. Albrecht.

Gage is 7 now and in 1st Grade with Mrs. Lauber. I also got a picture of Gage, with his Mom (my daughter Katie) on the first day.



And yes, my baby started Kindergarten. His teacher is Mrs. Wilsman. God bless her!

For those of you new to my blog, Katie is my oldest and her son Gage goes to the same school as his uncles. It keeps life interesting. Gage and David get to see each other at recess and Richard gets to help by getting milk for the Kindergarten class when it is his turn. Below I snapped a picture of Richie, hubby Paul (right) and Mr. Woldt the principal. Jon and Paul were classmates in college. He also taught Katie and Mike years ago. It is a small world.



The blessings we have been given are immeasurable. God has seen us through so much and continues to provide for us on a daily basis. We are thankful. These past few months have been particularly hard for me as I have started my new job and so much has gone on. So many people have been there for me. A couple of friends of mine, Leslie and Pam, brought over dinner one night. I was almost to the breaking point as Mike was getting ready to be admitted to the hospital and things were so hectic at work. What a blessing to come home and find a kitchen full of food and goodies. Thank you ladies! You are the best!

The demands on my time are greater than they have ever been. I have a lot of work to do. But I am having fun. I have the most awesome friends and some of you I have neglected lately. I thank you for your understanding during this trying time. I hope to be able to connect soon. Peace and love to all of you! Your support means so much.

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To an old acquaintance, Joyce, please know I am praying for you as you again battle cancer. God give you peace, strength, and healing.

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And in closing, if you have a moment please watch the following clip. And please consider being an organ donor. THANK YOU!

http://www.mlive.com/news/grand-rapids/index.ssf/2010/08/sparta_mom_awaiting_lung_trans.html

Blessings to you!

I am humbled and honored! And Little Chute

Praise God, Praise God, Praise God. I have so much to be thankful for. God's mercies are new every morning. I received and accepted a job today. At an awesome company - J.F. Ahern. Just a wonderful opportunity and a blessing for our family. They have excellent benefits and have been a top choice for places to work in this area for the last several years. I am just in awe of how God has blessed us. While so many companies have cut back they are growing. They are fire and mechanical contractors at the top of their industry. I am almost speechless.

Among other blessings received - Piper got her lungs. I wrote about her in a previous post and God has blessed her with a new chance at life with the gift of donor lungs. This young woman near death was spared because of someone's selfless act to become an organ donor. My prayers are with the anonymous donor and family. Through their tragedy they found it in their hearts to bless Piper. God bless them. Again, I am almost speechless. And Piper is not taking this gift lightly. She is working extremely hard to use this gift to its fullest. She should be out of the hospital soon. Check out the link to her website (click on her name above) to read more about it. She is already posting on her blog.

And yet another blessing, neighbors. But not just any neighbors, neighbors from Little Chute. Facebook is such an incredible blessing when you can connect with people who at one point in your life were such a blessing but then with time and space you drift apart. When I think of the parable of the good Samaritan I am reminded of my neighbors in Little Chute. This small community embodies the true Biblical sense of neighbors. I can remember it like it happened yesterday the days leading up to Mike's diagnosis with Cystic Fibrosis. Katie was less than 13 months old when Mike was born and I had my hands full. Countless hours were spent walking the floors with this screaming baby who was literally starving to death in my arms. When he was finally admitted to the hospital, his father Mike, Sr. and I were exhausted. We needed people to watch Katie so we could be with Mike. Everyone pitched in. Family, friends - we were covered. And then a few days later we heard the words Cystic Fibrosis. I quickly looked it up - we were devastated. Mike was slipping away. Doctors told us we needed to get him to the hospital in Madison (2.5 hours away) first thing in the morning. "Be packed and ready to stay for at least two weeks!" I remember my mom staying in the hospital with Mike so I could go home and pack. I got home and looked at the HUGE pile of clothes on the basement floor next to my washing machine. Pack for 2 weeks? I would need to get Katie ready too. I was so far behind. All those sleepless nights - I was exhausted and I only had a few hours. I was emotionally drained wondering if my son really had this fatal disease.

The doorbell rang. It was my neighbors asking what they could do to help. They had heard Mike was critically ill. My neighbors, Megan, Kay, Julie and others I can't remember, picked up my dirty laundry and took it home and brought it back in less than a couple of hours - folded and ready to be packed. That is love - cleaning someone else's dirty laundry! Yes, that still brings tears to my eyes. They did that for me and my family. I have just recently found Kay on facebook. Big hugs and blessings to you. Below are Katie and Mike with their first friends from next door. God is so good. He gives us just what we need, when we need it and I am in awe tonight of his continued blessings in my life. So excuse me for gushing and thanks for listening/reading.

And to our old friends and new friends welcome - it is good to see you!

Blessings!

Stacey, Katie and Mike -Katie, Stacey, Adam and Mike