No mama, Mikey is SICK!

I’m so sorry I missed the comment/question from my post “Am I going to die from CF?” SSK wrote, “I am fielding these questions from one of our older children regarding our little guy's CF. Did you have these type of questions from your child's older siblings? How did you handle it? Blessings....” Yes, I have had these questions and I approached them the same way I did Mike’s (my child with CF) similar questions. It is funny, really, how smart and intuitive children are. They really know and see so much more than we would expect. Oddly, I can remember the very first conversation I had with Katie about CF. Probably because it was so profound and she was so young. Katie and Mike are less than 13 months apart in age. She really doesn’t know life without her brother Mike. They were extremely close as youngsters, almost inseparable, except for the CF, until about age 12. Katie was extremely articulate at a very young age. It was amazing that Mike ever learned to talk at all because Katie always wanted to do all the talking for everyone – especially Mike.

Anyway, this particular conversation happened when Katie was between 3 and 4. Mike would have been 2-3. I had just finished giving him therapy (pounding on his chest for about 35-40 minutes) – you all remember the days of manual chest poundings several times a day. Mike was getting sick and we were in what I termed “crunch mode.” Crunch mode meant Mike was coughing more and more and I was pounding 3-4 times a day and sometimes in the middle of the night if he couldn’t stop coughing. We didn’t have pulmozyme in those days. We were finished pounding and Mike ran off to play. I was sitting on the floor. Katie walked over and said, “Mommy, Mikey is sick.” And I said, “Yes, honey, Mikey is sick,” very nonchalantly pretending it was no big deal. Katie put her arm around my shoulder and said, in a very low, informational tone , “No, mama, Mikey is SICK!” I looked up at her and I said, “Yes, honey, Mikey is sick,” in a very compassionate voice. Our eyes met and there was an unsaid understanding between us that he wasn’t just “normal” sick but SICK. She knew. She understood. But the conversation that followed was truly amazing and again I can only praise and thank God for giving me the words and leading the conversation to where it went.

“Mommy, if you can’t make Mikey better, than we will take him to the doctor and the doctor will make him all better?” she said, with a hopeful tone. She had endured many hours at doctor’s offices being patient while Mike endured tests and procedures. “Yes, if Mikey gets sick and Mom can’t make him better then we will take him to the doctor,” I said as reassuringly as possible. “And mama,” she continued in a somewhat matter of fact yet inquisitive voice, “if the doctor can’t make Mike better than we will take him to the hospital and the hospital will make him all better?” Katie had also watched mom disappear for weeks at a time as I took Mike to the hospital and she would come to visit. I was amazed at how well she understood the routine. I was almost saddened and sickened that this “routine” was obviously seeming “normal” to her. Was I really talking to a 3-4 year old? “Yes, honey,” I continued to reassure her, “when the doctor can’t make Mikey all better we will take him to the hospital and they will make him all better." And then came the question I was unprepared to hear from a child so young, “But mama, if the hospital can’t make Mikey all better, who will make Mikey all better?” Her voice was very serious as those big blue eyes pierced my soul waiting to hear the comfort that all was well. In a very cheerful yet decisive voice I said slowly, “Well, when mama, and the doctor, and the hospital, can’t make Mikey better, then Jesus will take Mikey and make him all better!” A big smile came across her face and she almost jumped off the floor with excitement. She said in a jovial voice, “Ohhhhh, Jesus will make him all better! OK, mom!” Almost as if she were thinking, oh, of course, how did I forget? She ran off to play.

She was comforted that God was in control. She never asked anymore questions. It was understood. She is 28 and now she comforts me with similar words. I can’t tell you how reassured this makes me. When God gives you the “right” words there isn’t a need for a lot of words. I believe she never brought it up much after that because she has a strong faith and she saw the same in Mike and me – she understood. I’m sure the understanding of those words has changed as her faith has grown and matured but there was never a need for further explanation. The words would have been the same. The words are the same. 1 Corinthians 2:13 “This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, expressing spiritual truths in spiritual words.”

I believe anyone could use similar words for any age of child. My son Richie is 10 and he is just beginning to ask questions about why Mike is in the hospital so much. Because Mike is an adult and takes himself to many of the doctor and hospital visits, my younger two haven’t felt the impact like Katie did. I haven’t had this conversation with Richie or David yet but getting close with Richard. I anticipate the conversation to be similar. God willing, He will give me the right words.

Skk, I hope this helps you. One way or another Jesus will make it all better. I don’t know what the future holds but I know who holds the future. God is working this all out according to His plan. We are not sure if that means a transplant, or a cure here on earth or in heaven but we are confident in His plan. Peace. I am thankful for the continued strengthening God supplies me through His Word. He supplies us daily. Blessings to you!