Sunday, May 8, 2011

Happy Mother's Day to YOU!

Proverbs 17:6 "Children's children are a crown to the aged. . ."

Happy Mother's Day to all you wonderful mothers out there! Including mine!! Happy Mother's Day mom!

I hope no one was offeneded by the little fun I had yesterday with my kids. I'm still praying we will all be able to be in church TOGETEHR as a family today. That would make me soooo happy!!

But I certainly would never want anyone to think I am ungrateful for the wonderful gift God has given me in the gift of my children.

Children are a gift of the Lord. Psalm 127:3

I am truly humbled, honrored, and grateful that God asked me, in stewardship to him to be a mother of these five blessings in my life.

Many times in the world of CF I meet young women who have CF and are unable to have children due to complications of their CF. They long to be mothers. I have followed some of these women on their journey. They are amazing. I have friends and family fighting fertility issues. They long to have children. I follow their journey. They are amazing. The amazing thing is how much they love their step children, foster children, pets, families, and others around them. I watch them give love to others unconditionally. Isn't that what being a mother is all about? We reflect the love of God to others around us. We nurture and encourage. That's mothering. This world needs more love in it. It doesn't matter what you call it.

I am truly not worthy of the blessings God has given me, especially the blessing of being a mother. I have done it all wrong time and time again yet I am still blessed with forgiveness. I pick myself up and I carry on trying to be better the next time.

Thank you mom for your love and support. Thank you to all you moms and women who share their love in this world that seems to continue to get darker. Your love makes a difference.

Blessings to you and Happy Mother's Day!

P.S. I got my wish!! All my kids in church with me! I am so blessed!!

P.S.S.This picture was taken with my new pocket camera I carried in my purse!! Bonus!

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Mother's Day 2011

Dear Katie,

I love you. I endured much to have you. You were a tough pregnancy. It had nothing to do with the fact that I ate everything in sight and gained 55 pounds. You were a stinker. It took 24 hours of hard labor to bring you into the world. But I didn't even take an aspirin. Nope, wanted you to be as healthy as possible so did it allllll cold turkey. Contractions were 2 minutes apart and lasted for 1.5 to 2 minutes each. You got stuck. They broke my water and said push. I pushed for 6 hours. Burst all the blood vessels in my face. It was special.

I fell in love with you the moment I saw you. You were beautiful then and you are still beautiful. You were a perfect baby (good thing, did I mention the 24 hours of hard labor - most of it back labor!!!). And then you learned to talk. Things got a little challenging. You were tough to rear. I guess the labor should have clued me in.

Love you with all my heart.

Dear Mike,

I love you. I endured much to have you. It took the whole nine months to gain back all of the 55 pounds I had lost in the 3 months before I got pregnant with you. Not an easy task chasing another baby. Labor was a little easier with you. That's because you only weighed 7 pounds. You came out so pale. My beautiful little boy. I got my million dollar family. A boy and a girl. Life was good that first week. And then the screaming started. Hours and hours of walking the floors trying desperately to console you. And then there was more screaming, day after day as I would take you from doctor to doctor not accepting the diagnosis' I would receive like I was just a young stupid mom that didn't know what she was doing.

You were easy to rear. Always so easy going. Good thing after all that screaming.

Love you with all my heart.

Dear Richard,

I love you. I endured much to have you. Did you know that mom got PUPP 12 weeks before you were due? Do you know what that is? Look it up on the computer some day. It was nasty. Mom's whole body swelled with hives that itched. My skin and feet felt like they were on fire. I had little boils all over my hands and when they popped it hurt even worse. I went 5 days with no sleep. I thought I would lose all my marbles the suffering was so long and intense. I went on drugs I never thought I would take while pregnant. Took the epidural to have you. No more natural birth for me. I was weak and didn't think I could do it but you came into the world a beautiful little dark headed boy. You were an easy baby - good thing. Did I mention the PUPP???

Love you with all my heart.

Dear David,

I love you. I endured much to have you. Mommy was old and things don't always work the same. You started to fall out. Mom had to stay off her feet. Pre-term labor started at 4 months. Up for a few hours, down for a few hours. It was hard to sit. It hurt my back. Tried to do the natural childbirth thing and your chord prolapsed. During the emergency C-section the doctor cut across my bladder by accident. He cut again to get you out. Mom had to pee in a bag for 10 days. You were a baby like Mike. You screamed and screamed and screamed. We probably should have taken a cue from Katie and not taught you how to talk. You like to be sassy.

Love you with all my heart.

So Mother's Day is tomorrow and I guess it made me reminisce a bit today. Oh, are you all going shopping today? Well, print this out and take it with you for those moments when you are trying to decide between the $3 box of candy and the nice outfit from The Dress BARN or that pocket digital camera I've been longing for, it may come in handy! Katie, ask dad for the credit card and take the boys with you. Did I mention the 12 hours of hard labor, Katie?!

Well I'm off to do my physical therapy. I have had 6 weeks so far and several more to go. They say my pelvic floor is all messed up from all those pregnancies. I am enduring much to try to get out of the constant pain I have been in the last several years.

Happy shopping kids,

Love you with all my heart,


P.S. I hope you all enjoyed my little humor. You know that I only have one thing on my wish list. You know what it is but so that others will understand I will type it here:

3 John 1:4 "I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth."

See you all in church. . .

I am so blessed!

Monday, May 2, 2011

I have a dream . . .

I have had a secret dream for several years now. I didn't think this particular dream was really possible so I just kept it safe in my heart. Things get so busy and my life had other priorities. Every once in a while I would let it surface and I would dream about it. It made me happy to think about it and then I would realize it probably couldn't be and I would pack it away to think about later. And then Mike started getting really sick. My dream kept surfacing. I started to ache thinking that I hadn't lived my dream. I've gotten older and things are harder. Why hadn't I sought out my dream?

My dream is quite simple really. But to really understand my dream you need a little background. When I was about 5 years old my father taught me how to dance. It was fun. I loved it. I looked forward to dances - there seemed to be one all the time. My mom and dad would go out dancing. I loved watching my mom get all dressed up. My mom and dad were really good dancers. People loved to watch them dance. They danced as one. It was amazing. Time went by and disco came on the scene (I know - I'm dating myself here!). Girls would dance by themselves with other girls. I couldn't get into it. I never tried. Then someone asked me to take dance lessons. It was awesome. I was hooked. Dancing with a partner and putting the same steps my father had taught me to modern music was fun! I fell in love with dancing again.

I won my first dance contest on my 18th birthday. I also did a show on local TV. It was exciting that dancing was such a big deal. I remember people clapping when I would be out dancing in a crowd. I remember the same thing happened to my parents. It seemed to make people happy to watch. It was great exercise too. I took lessons and gave free lessons to anyone who wanted them. I could dance both partners positions. And then I entered a dance marathon. I danced for 60 hours (that's another whole blog post). I got kind of burned out after that. I didn't dance much after I had Katie and Mike. Once in a while someone would ask me to show them something but not often. Then I moved to Texas and learned several western dances. Caught the bug again.

The years passed and I didn't dance for a long time. Then Mike asked a girl to prom. I offered that I could teach him and his friend how to dance. He didn't think much of it at first but I coaxed him into it. They had fun learning. I remember how shy they were at first. Well as they say, the rest is history. Mike didn't stop dancing. He is an amazing dancer thanks to Julie and Frank. He entered dance contests with Julie and won some trophies. One day while I was scrapbooking Mike said, "Mom, you should take a picture of us with our trophies and do a scrapbook page." What a great idea. I had a trophy from the dance marathon and he had several. Why hadn't I thought about that? I never got around to taking the picture.

Then one day I shared my dream with Mike. I told him how I would love to learn to dance with him well enough to enter a contest. We don't need to place or anything. I will be happy to just get a certificate that we participated but I would love to learn a whole dance with Mike. So that is my secret dream. Mike is on board. He is thrilled to be a part of it. Frank and Julie both offered to help choreograph something. But I have to learn to dance again. I have forgotten so much and the dances have once again changed. You just can't learn this overnight.

Julie gives Salsa lessons (Mike's favorite) on Friday nights. (Go here to check it out!) For only $5 a person you can take a group lesson. I started to attend. They are a blast. I have a friend who started to take private lessons with Julie. He offered that I could go along - free - Thanks Pete! After a few lessons I was having trouble with my back. I am going through physical therapy to try and fix some problems I have had for years. This has put my dream on hold. I haven't been able to dance for weeks.

I wish I could have done this years ago but pregnancies and small children did not allow the time. I don't regret my choices at all. Now I am hoping to have the opportunity - God willing. Paul is very supportive of my dream even though he knows it will take some time. It is time I am taking for me. Time that, once I get better, I will be able to spend with Mike. I wish Mike could teach me but he doesn't always feel the best. And when he is feeling good he has a very special someone to dance with! He and Missy dance as one. It is amazing to watch. I pray we will be able to dance together some day. What a blessing and dream come true that would be.

I finally got that picture with Mike. The big trophy is mine from the dance marathon. The other three are Mikes! Love this young man.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

Love, love, love.
Blessings to you.