I WILL RISE

I arrived at Church today fully aware of what we were celebrating – our Risen Lord. It is what has given me JOY and HOPE and PEACE over these past several very trying months. Shortly after the service began it gave me something else. Absolute and total humility.

The Junior Choir sang my favorite song of late  I WILL RISE.

I listen to this song all the time (the WLA choir sang it at Mikey's funeral) but there was something different today with the children of Faith Lutheran School singing it. Hearing those childlike voices took me back to the many services I sat through where Mike and Katie sang in the choir. Sang their praises to the Risen Lord. 

And as the children sang the words:

Worthy is the Lamb

My thoughts went to the passages in scripture that tell us that one day every knee will bow and all will raise their voices and say – 

Revelation 5:12

"Worthy is the Lamb, who was slain . . ."

The tears streamed down my face as I realized that my Mike is up in heaven right now with that multitude of souls and angels singing and praising God with those very words – Worthy is the Lamb! As my mind wandered to thoughts of what Mike must be experiencing I couldn't hold back the tears.

Tears of JOY for my Mikey who is with his Savior.

Tears of HOPE that I too will be with my Savior one day.

Tears of thankfulness for the PEACE I have been given.

And I am humbled . . .

Humbled that God used me in Mike’s life to help point him to Christ. Only Christ and his Word can change a heart and bring saving faith. But we can point and encourage each other on this walk toward home.

1 Thessalonians 5:11 Therefore, encourage one another 

and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.

I hope you have the same JOY, HOPE and PEACE I have. The same feeling of gratitude and humility knowing that you were part of Mikey’s walk toward home. Knowing that one day you too will see him again, through faith in Christ Jesus, our Risen Lord.

Peace and blessings to you this Easter Sunday. Love, love, love.

My boys are B A C K!

I thought a little explanation might be in order.

Here is one of the Brothers making sure Katie got a ride to the cemetery.

Mikey has a whole slew of brothers . . .

They share a brotherhood . . .

I liken it to the armed forces. They share a brotherhood also. They have each other’s back. I know this because I had a brother who was a Marine and I have a brother who was in the Airborne. They've explained this to me. I also have a nephew who is serving his third tour in Afghanistan but that is another blog post.

So regardless of how life ebbs and flows, they hang in there for each other. If they make a promise they keep it. Well, these brother’s of Mike’s promised to look out for his family after he was gone.

You've seen in the blog posts that many of the brothers were here when Mike passed away. They carried him to his cousin’s Hearse and followed him to the funeral home. Some stayed there as a promise not to leave him alone and the rest came back here to my home.

While we were sitting here I told them I hoped they would stop by sometimes. They promised they would. And then I said, “And you know, if you’re ever riding in the area, could you drive down my street? I love to hear the pipes on the bikes. You see, when Mike was healthy enough to get out and ride these past several months, I would get anxious. And then I would here his Harley in the driveway and I would relax and think to myself, Oh, good, Mikey’s home! And you know what? Mikey’s home!” as my voice started to break and drop off.

It gives me such comfort to know that Mikey is home with his Savior. How can I be so sure?

Mike was a baptized child of God. The Holy Spirit planted the seed of Faith in his heart that day. And that is that.

Pastor Parsons reflected it perfectly tonight as he recanted the story of Good Friday during the Tenebrae service at our church. When you think about the last seven words Jesus spoke from the cross before he died, you realize that Mike is in heaven with Him.

Jesus first words on the cross were words of Pardon. He said, “Father forgive them for they know not what they do.” Jesus said this about the very men who had just nailed him to a cross even though he did nothing wrong and didn't deserve it. This showed us the grace of God. Were those men sinners like Mike. Yep! Did they or Mike deserve God’s forgiveness? Nope, but Jesus was on that cross to give it to them anyway. It wasn't about what Mike did, it was all about what Jesus did for him.

The second words on the cross were words of Promise. The criminal who hung next to Jesus had not lived the life of a Christian. He may have never even been in a church, but Jesus told him, “Today, you will be with me in Paradise.” Grace again. There were times in Mike’s life that he lived as a Christian. There were also times when he did not. He told me about his anger with God for not taking his CF away. A couple months before he died he said to me, “Mom, do you think God won’t forgive me . . .because you know, I’ve been kind of mad at him . . . and now he might think I’m only coming back because I might die or something?” I smiled at him and told him, “Mike, you know God doesn’t work like that. You know the story of the prodigal son. There is much rejoicing in heaven.” He relaxed and had comfort. That Faith that was planted in his heart was still there. 

How was I so sure Mikey was forgiven? Because Jesus gave us the example of the thief on the cross J Because Jesus lived a perfect life for him. Because Jesus did it all for him and us and left nothing for us to have to do for ourselves. By saying, “It is finished” he let us know that we did not have to add to the work of salvation he had won for us. Yep, it’s that simple. It’s called grace. If you want to hear the rest of the story go here to hear Pastor Parsons' explanation. I just plagiarized the heck out of his sermon but he won’t mind. He plagiarizes the Bible every time I see him ;).

So I love it when the Biker Brothers of Mike’s drive by because it makes me think, “Mikey’s H O M E!!” And that gives me such peace. It always brightens my day. Pretty much every day until the snow flew last fall one of them rode by my house . . .Bear, Stinky, Dirty Mike, Stretch, Auggy, Chrome . . .too many to name here.

And now Spring is here and they are B A C K! Nugget, Chris and Stretch, Radar, Rooster and Lil Bit (she is soooo tiny) . . .

Thank you guys! You always put a smile on my face! May God bless you as you have blessed me! May you find comfort in the cross and the empty tomb this Easter weekend which gives us hope for eternity and the reunion with our loved ones!! Love you so much!

Blessings to you!

Job security . . .?

Katie 13 months - Mike 1 month

As I traveled my path as a single mother I was often subject to worry. Things are difficult when you are a single mom with two kids and when one is given the label “handicapped” (not my label but the one given with the diagnosis of CF at the time) – well, you can only imagine.

I was very blessed to be working at Air Wisconsin when my oldest two were born. I stopped working after Mikey’s diagnosis of CF and cleaned houses, bar tended and babysat to help make ends meet. Young children have lots of needs and the added expense of CF was worrisome.

Psalm 37:25 I was young and now I am old, 

yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken 

or their children begging bread.

When I decided to go back to work full time I set my sights on the best company in the area – KC. It took a few weeks but I was hired. God blessed my efforts as I was promoted 5 times in 2.5 years. But it appeared that while I worked full time Mike’s health would decline. I took the money I had saved in my 401K and decided I could make it until Mike was in first grade if I was given Social Security due to Mike’s special needs. Lots of other CF families received the extra help – I was told it would be no problem. WRONG. I was denied. I cleaned more houses and did what was needed to make ends meet.

I was completely out of the job market for 7 years. I figured my skills were probably out dated but I needed a job so I studied up and applied. I was once again blessed to get a job that paid the bills. I was hired full time at Oshkosh Truck Corporation where I had worked right out of High School. Amazing that God would bless me with steady work. At all three places, Air Wisconsin, KC and Oshkosh Truck, I was always given the time I needed to spend every minute with Mike in the hospital. He was never left alone as a child. If I wasn't with him his father was. Never alone.

I left the job market again to go to College. I went after a business degree. My hope was that I could increase my earning potential to be able to afford the increasing expenses of CF and a future transplant. I was sure that with a degree I wouldn't have to worry so much. I had over 2 years under my belt when I decided to marry Paul and shortly thereafter was expecting little Richie. Having a new baby, I went into a completely different career that would meet our needs but was a huge stretch from my IT background – childcare. There was no reason I should have been any good at running a child care center. But God continued to bless my efforts and Jesus’ Little Lambs prospered despite my lack of education and experience.

Philippians 2:13 "for it is God who works in you 

to will and to act according to his good purpose."

After 10 years of working at the church/child care God blessed us with our David. The hours got to be too much and I left the job market once again. Being an older mom was tough. I stayed home and did child care in my home until David was old enough for school.

I thought for sure my earning potential would be close to nothing but God stepped in once again and allowed me to work at one of the best employers in Fond du Lac – J. F. Ahern. Again, there was never a question as to where my first priority lied. I was able to leave when needed to take Mike back and forth to Madison. I was blessed. But with CF, full time work and two young kids I started to falter under the stress. I couldn't do that kind of work and deal with all that was going on as CF started to take my Mikey from me.

I have to say, that as I left that job I wondered if I would ever work in the business world again. God stepped in again and through many friends and family members I was encouraged to continue to try. "There are other business without the high stress levels of project management and construction," they encouraged me. God blessed me again and the first job I applied for resulted in a job offer. Divine intervention. Again, I was given the time that I needed to take Mike to the hospital. As Mike got sicker others stepped in and helped give him rides back and forth. The rest you can see in past blog posts.

What is the moral of this story?

I might not have job security . . .

I might not get Social Security . . .

But I will always have - God security. 

Given only through God’s amazing grace.

Amen to that.

We pray – give us today our daily bread – but we really usually don’t mean that. We really want job security, a nice padded bank account and a sizable 401K or else we worry. But God is always there working things out for our good just like he promised. God security. Yes, I have been homeless with two kids and I have lived in what many would consider a mansion. That is amazing grace.

I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to 

have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content 

in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, 

whether living in plenty or in want. 

I can do all things through Christ who 

strengthens me. Philippians 4:13

People have said to me, “You’re so lucky! You always land the good jobs!” or “You’re so techno geeky – you’ll always have job security!” When I hear these remarks I pause and take inventory . . . if left to my own devices I probably wouldn't have a job at all. To God be the glory. He has and always will give me God security. I trust Him completely. Forgive me Lord for the times I have doubted and worried.

The night seems darkest before the dawn. For those of you looking for work – hang in there. Trust. Yes, I worked hard and studied. God did the rest. Trust. I wish I wouldn't have worried so much. So much of the sin in my life was a result of that awful thing called worry. Trust Him.

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, 

for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each 

day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:34

Blessings to you! Love, love, love.

God's Perfect Timing

God’s timing is always perfect.

Sometimes that is hard for us to see.

Sometimes we have to wait to see it. Looking back it seems so clear.

But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength;

They shall mount up with wings like eagles

They shall run and not be weary,

They shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:31

One could say that having babies less than 13 months apart isn't good timing. But looking back, having Katie and Mikey so close was a blessing. They were like twins. They loved and cherished each other even after they grew individual personalities.

If you have ever danced you know how important timing is. When a couple like Julie Wilson and Mike danced it was beautiful. They danced as one. If one of them had even been a second off it would have been less than desirable to watch (and probably wouldn’t have gotten them a State championship).

Mikey told many of his peeps that he didn't want to die in a hospital bed. That was part of his decision to come home on Hospice. He even refused the bed that Hospice brought when he first arrived. But after a few days his back started to hurt. He needed to be propped up to be comfortable and that was hard to do in a regular bed. I finally talked Mike into using the bed that was downstairs. “It just allows for you to raise the head up and down, Mike,” I bartered. He agreed. But now how was that going to happen? Mike was getting weaker. The bed that was in that small room was full size. This wasn't going to be easy. Timing would be everything.

His father and I met in the hall and I said, “I think . . .”

“I’ve got this,” He interrupted.

“But . . .”

“I’ve got this.”

“But you know we can . . .”

“I’ve got this!” Big Mike interjected again.

I relaxed. I said, “OK.” I sat back and watched Big Mike’s perfect timing play out.

This needed to be orchestrated. I’m sure Mikey is proud watching the choreography of his father that went on behind the scenes, as he watches the replay on that big screen TV up in heaven. Big Mike rallied the troops that were here. One quick call to Mikey’s friends and family members and everyone was ready to go.

Aunt Cathy cradled Mikey ever so gently in her arms while Amy held the morphine drip. As they sat Mikey down in a chair in the room someone set off a timer.

A group came in and disassembled the bed and rushed it out the door and down the hall. Scott, Bryon, Bear and others led by Big Mike came in and assembled the Hospice bed and plugged it in. Sheets and blankets were already on it and within 6 minutes from the time Mikey got up he was back in bed.

It’s amazing what love can do. So honored that all these people were part of Mikey’s life.

Looking back, I see God’s perfect timing for Mikey’s departure to heaven. We had anticipated many months of dependence on oxygen. Being tethered to a tank. Mike didn't want that. We talked about it a few times and I could not get him out of that mindset. Mike was always so giving. He gave until there was no more left to give. I would tell him that this would be our time to give back to him. But he would get agitated about it.

For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:10

I have said to people, “If there were ever such a thing as a beautiful death, my son was granted it.” All of his loved ones there to support him. He was able to speak up until the very end. He said his goodbyes and I’ll see you laters. Never alone.

I am so thankful for God’s perfect timing for Mike. For me. For you.

‘O Lord, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O Lord. For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. Your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.’

Psalm 139

Blessings to you. Love, love, love.

Finding My Voice

It's been a long time . . .

I just stopped . . .

It felt like I lost my voice . . .

I know up in the corner of my blog it says why I started this blog. And it is why I started it. . . .

But then it slowly evolved. Sometimes I didn't know whose voice I was speaking . . . mine or Mikes. Truthfully, sometimes it was mine and sometimes it was Mike's. Once in a while he totally hijacked my blog completely and told me what he wanted me to say. I didn't mind at all. This became the place where people could go to find out how Mikey was doing. I promised to be real and I feel like I kept that promise :)

So, I guess it's not unusual that I would stumble about a bit. Not sure how I want to move forward . . , or if I even do.

I was at the dentist and JoBeth said she liked to read about Mikey's stories. Others have shared that they do too. Others said they enjoyed reading my blog and somehow it brought them comfort or peace.

Well, we all know that has nothing to do with me now don't we.

But I feel like I am finding my voice again. So much that I still want to share about the road I traveled with my Mikey. And then there are still all the reasons I started this blog to begin with.

I am one blessed mamma that is for sure. Blessed to still have such peace. Blessed to have a Father who continues to comfort and bring me joy. Blessed with a loving family. Blessed by all of you and your continued support and prayers.

There have been a few rough patches . . but none without God's comfort, love and forgiveness. I am learning how to trust completely . . . and it feels really good. I know there is an end to grief, because there is no end to grace. God is so good.

And look how God blessed us this week:

This young man lettered as a Freshman in Wrestling. We are so proud of him. A lot of hard work paid off for him. It is amazing what he can do when he puts his mind to something! To God be the glory!

And this little guy has a new special friend:

Thank you Zaria for taking such good care of Eva so David could have her :) He sure does love her.

Katie, Gage and Amy are all doing well also.

I am so blessed.

Hubby gave the sermon this week at school. He puts so much into those sermons and devotions. We are blessed by his Divine Call.

It is Lent. It reassures me that I will one day be going to heaven to meet my Savior just like my son did.

All good stuff folks, all good stuff.

Peace and blessings to each of you.

Many prayers going up for Rusty and Laura. May God continue to comfort and uphold you during this trying time. I admire the strength of these women.

Love, love, love.

Lifted Burdens

There are things I look back at now and see through the eyes of reflection that make me very thankful. They also make me hang my head and wonder why I allowed worry to engulf me at times.

Psalm 50:15 Call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you will honor me.

Having a child with a genetic disease means most life insurance companies will not insure them. For years this thought would creep up into my mind. How would I have the money to bury my son if he died before me?

CF is a very expensive disease for families. Lots of medical bills and medications. Travel to and from medical facilities, stays in hospitals and hotels, equipment and the list goes on.

There were times I trusted and there were times I worried.

So many of you have helped ease our burdens. Thank you. We are so grateful for all the support we received and are still receiving.

• Thank you to all those who lifted us up in prayer. They were all heard and answered.
• Thank you Derek for giving of all of your time for Mikey's funeral preparations. He would not allow one second of his time to be charged.
• To Radar who would not allow us to be burdened with any amount insurance didn't pay for the ambulance ride home.
• Thank you to Grandma VanDeurzen who allowed Mike to be buried on their plot.
• Thank you to so many friends and relatives who gave money to help pay for Mike's medical and burial expenses.
• Thank you to Uncle David, Aunt Renee and my girlfriend Jean for helping financially with Mike's expenses these last couple of difficult years when the expense became overwhelming.
• Thank you to Brandi and Julie for helping raise awareness and money to help with Mike's expenses.
• Thank you to my girlfriend Gail who came immediately and stayed until the end. Working tirelessly even though she struggles with her own chronic illness.
• Thank you to my girlfriend Pam who brought food and shampoo and things I needed.
• Thank you to the many people who brought food to the house. I don't even know who you all are. I didn't see anyone who brought food except my mom and Brandi (Julie brought salsa and cookies). It was just there when I would come downstairs. Bless you.
• Thank you to all of the friends and relatives who helped us take care of Richie and David.
• To Johnna, Cathy, Kay and others who took charge and put the food out for others to have. I was so out of it I didn't even offer Mike and Kay anything to eat or drink when they first came. When Mike and I talked to Mikey and I told them his dad could come and stay, I was extending an open invitation but then we got to our house and things got crazy. Thank you for your forgiveness you guys.
• Thank you to Kay who brought water and hand sanitizer and all sorts of stuff.
• Thank you to Amy who ran to the store or errands on more than one occasion yet was still there every time Mike called for her.
• Thank you Amy S for the Chapstick.
• Mike and Dianne P who counseled with Mike so many times and talked him through many rough patches in his life.
• Thank you Rhonda, Amy, Pastor Parson's, Beth and others for my cokes.
• Thank you to Mike's brothers who would come at a moments notice if we needed anything. Some ran to the pharmacy for drugs, others on errands, some came in the middle of the night because Mike just needed to know that they were there.
• Thank you to Scott who came in the middle of his work week and camped out in the hospital parking lot.
• Thank you to Dennis for making the trip so many times. Mike needed you and you were there.
• Thank you to the women who made the purple ribbons.
• Thank you to the folks who made bracelets.
• Thank you Julie for the flash mob. . . unbelievable memories.
• To the Pastors and staff at Good Shepherd Lutheran for allowing all of us to have Mike's visitation there.
• To the Pastors and staff at Faith who allowed us to fit around tight schedules. Allowed Mike's bikes to be kept there with him. For understanding the brothers needed to keep watch.
• Thank you to Pastor Naumann for an incredible sermon that has brought peace to all of us.
• Thank you to Pastor Parsons, Haugley, Weigand and Naumann for the devotions. Thank you Pastor Haugly for giving Mike Communion.
• Thank you to Uncle Bob and Uncle Scott for honoring Mike's request to sing Breathe. I can't imagine how hard that was to do at Mikey's funeral. But they did it.
• Thank you to Auggy and Mongo who wrote poems for Mike and shared them with the rest of us.
• Thank you to everyone who spoke at Mike's funeral.
• Thank you to Madyson for the Hero speech she shared with Mike and then with all of us.
• Thank you Erin and Brooke for your counsel
• Thank you to Uncle Jim's sisters and others who helped organize and serve the lunch after the burial.
• Thank you to everyone who brought food for the lunch.
• Thank you to everyone who sent plants and flowers. They are all lovely.  Thank you to Mike Bassett for the two trees. They are planted in our yard. I couldn't find your address to thank you.
• Thank you to the THMC for honoring Mike's last request that the club have his motorcycle. This was a difficult request to fill. It was Mike's only asset and with medical bills and such it would not be easy to fulfill this request. The club purchased the bike for well over its value to fulfill Mikey's request and to help alleviate some of Mike's expenses. God bless you all.
• And to Heartland Hospice for the storm we created. It was no easy thing to get Mike home and make all the arrangements in a moments notice. There was not time to work things out perfectly. They took him anyway and we all did the best we could. They came back every time we needed them. They continue to call and offer comfort through our grief.

Thank you to everyone who showed up - no matter how you did it. You showed up and gave support. I never could have imagined how God was going to work this all out and how awesomely he would do it. I didn't need to worry. I only needed to trust him. How silly I was.

Matthew 6:33-34 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Thank you to all of you for helping to lift our burdens. God bless each and every one of you. Peace.

I didn't get the entire song but I will share the piece I did get. So awesome of these Uncle's of Mike's to do this for him. 

Keep loving it forward with us. Blessings to you!

Thanksgiving 2014

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours!

I love getting back into the kitchen. . . it's been a while ;)

I was blessed to go to church last night before I started my Thanksgiving Day preparations. It helped me reflect on all that I am thankful for most importantly God. He has given me a faith that has sustained me through so much this past year.

It has been a tradition around our home to take a few moments during the Thanksgiving activities and write down several things that we are thankful for. The things after God, faith and salvation. Those are a given. Those are the things that we thank God for on a daily basis.

This morning I pulled out the cards from 2008 and this is what I found:

Katie
1. I have a supporting job!
2. That I had my guardian angel with me and watching over me this summer!
3. The support of family during hard times!

Mom
1. I am thankful Mike hasn't been in the hospital in over 8 weeks :)
2. Thankful our income is still enough for our needs! Thankful our car still runs and hasn't had any major expense.
3. I am thankful for my spiritual growth that is a huge gift and an answered prayer.
4. For a spiritually mature husband who takes his responsibility as leader of our family, seriously.

Paul
1. Pain free legs & not getting up 3 times a night.
2. Working windshield wipers on the Bonneville that still runs.
3. The job that I have in an unstable economy.
4. Thankful that gas prices have dropped from $4 to $1.73.
5. The Lord bringing all of us through many hospital visits throughout 2008.

Gage
1. Turkey, corn, chicken, jello.
2. Going in my room.
3. Going outside with dad and playing with toys.

Mike
1. My health
2. Working at the Dance Studio
3. Disability checks

David (with Dad's help to write them)
1. CARS (as in the movie and the little toys).
2. My mom who stays with me every day.
3. Music because I love to sing.
4. A Car so that I can go places like the museum and the swimming pool.
5. Friends that come to my house (Jack & Gavin).

And Richard
1. Pudding                                              17. George Washington      33. Pumpkin Patches
2. Mom                                                   18. The Mall                       34. Vitamins
3. Dad                                                     19. Stores                            35. Katie
4. Donets                                                20. Shoes                             Katie and I got a pretty
5. Mike                                                   21. Sand                              good chuckle out of his list :)
6. David                                                  22. Shovel
7. bike                                                     23. Orange Juice
8. My room                                             24. Ice Cream
9. Gage                                                    25. Can't read it
10. Going on Vacations                          26. Roads
11. Snow                                                 27. Brownies
12. Waterpark                                         28. Cake
13 No school days                                   29. Hair
14. Football games                                  30. Summer
15. House                                                 31. Spring
16. Money                                               32. Little Farmer


I am thankful that I am a scrapbooker and that I took the time to do things like this.

There is a wonderful smell in my home from pies that just came out of the oven and things still in there baking. Paul, Richie, David and two of my nephews up from Tennessee, Luke and Eli just left for church. The house has been filled with life and laughter . . . I am thankful.

Many people have shared with me that the holidays would be especially hard. I can honestly say I haven't found this to be true so far. I think about the fact that Mike is celebrating his first Thanksgiving in heaven and I think about how cool that must be. When I think about Mike I immediately think about the fact he isn't suffering. I miss him terribly some times. When the tempter comes and gives me a poke it isn't fun. He took a really good jab at me a few weeks ago. I'll write about that another time. But the comforter is still here giving me comfort and peace and he is bigger than any temptation.

I was typing at my niece Janna the other day and I was able to verbalize the realization of experiences I have been having. While talking about grief I wrote:

I am learning through this experience that it is hard to be sad while your heart is so full of thankfulness and gratitude. I choose to be thankful that God gave me a son. Not look at it that God took away my son. It is hard to explain to others who are hurting. But I'm going to keep trying because I so want them to feel what I am feeling. It is a God feeling. A feeling that can come only from God. To feel His presence so fully that grief becomes only a shadow to it. To feel so much gratitude for His mercy that sorrow has to take a back seat. To have so much hope in Him that there is no way not to have joy. It is a God feeling and it is pretty amazing. God truly does come close to the broken hearted - indeed.

I'm not saying that there isn't grief and sorrow. There is. But it is not all consuming. There is joy, there is peace, there is gladness . . . life is for the living. The lesson I'm learning is that while I am living in gratitude and thankfulness I don't feel as sad or sorrowful. They are shadowed. God is so good.

I choose to look at things like the notes above and be thankful. I was going through some of the medical notes from Mike's chart and I found this:

Written on 9/16/14 by the Palliative Care Team

 . . .Mike recognizes that he does get depressed at times, but feels he has a great support system especially through his "biker" club. Mike is close to his family--he has 2 younger brothers. His mom has remarried and he appears to have a good relationship with his step-dad. His dad is involved and visits on weekends.

Closure of Life Affairs: Patient is hopeful to live until he is 34, but recognizes that time could be shorter. He is starting to think about how his family might cope with this death. He shared stories about his life, and the fact that he feels he has had a good life.

What a blessing to see those words. Mike shared that with many at UW Madison - "I've had a good life . . ." You are all part of that. How can we be anything but thankful.

This picture was taken on the day we wrote the thankful cards above :)

From our home to yours may God bless your holiday! Thank you all for showing up to help Mike, me and my family get through his final round and since. We are grateful.

Love, love, love.