Forgiveness

Chief of sinners though I be,

Jesus shed his blood for me,

Died that I might live on high,

Lives that I might never die.

As the branch is to the vine,

I am his and he is mine!

I'm a sinner.
Mike was a sinner too.

Mike was a very loving kid. He had a big heart. Sometimes that worked against him in that he was taken advantage of by others at times.

I hope you don't mind if I share a couple of stories with you.

When Mike was in grade school he struggled. Between the learning disabilities and CF he had a lot on his plate. But he never wanted to give up. We hired lots of tutors for him. He had a speech language pathologist who came to the school everyday to work with him. He adored Debbie. He also had another tutor who came everyday to help him with his other academic classes. He literally worked around the clock with homework and breathing treatments. The doctors were concerned and noted in his chart that he would allow "cruel" schedules in an earnest effort to be like other kids. So he would only get to be with his classmates for religion, phy. ed., art, recess and lunch.

Folks waiting to see Mike the day before he passed.

One day on the playground three boys attacked Mike. Two held him down while the other one punched him in the stomach. They told him that was because he always got special treatment and got "out" of doing classwork. Of course, Mike didn't come home and tell me about this. I found him holding his side before bed that night and saw the mark on his tummy before he fessed up.

I said a prayer of thanksgiving that night. I was thankful that Mike was not babied by his classmates. I knew in a way that this meant that they viewed Mike like any other kid - just one that they decided was getting out of some work. In essence this is what Mike had wanted. To be just like everyone else.

Why do I tell you this story?

I think perhaps many of us have been those three boys on the playground. There were times when I pushed Mike hard when I should have been more loving and understanding - when I should have "listened" to what he was trying to tell me and didn't.

I think right now there may be others who are struggling with similar issues:

I wish I would have gone to see him more when he was in the hospital.
I wish I would have known that your family was struggling.
I wish I would have said I love you to Mike one more time.
I wish I would have sent him a card when he was in the hospital.
I wish I hadn't accused him of not trying hard enough.
I wish I would have understood how hard he was trying and not compared him to others.
I wish I had believed him when he said it wasn't his fault.
Maybe I pushed him too hard . . . I was only trying to be supportive. . .

More folks patiently waiting.

I want to tell you another story.

The Bible tells us about Joseph. He was one of 12 sons of Jacob. He was Jacob's favorite and his brothers resented it. So much so that they sold Joseph into slavery and told their father he had been killed by wild animals.

Years passed and Joseph was imprisoned for being wrongly accused of a crime while in slavery. While in prison Joseph continued to do good and won favor from his peers and captors. Even after doing nothing wrong to deserve any of this. Eventually, a great famine came upon the land and Joseph, being lead by God, prepared the country ahead of time and saved many lives. His brothers came looking for food and found their brother. In fear for what they had done wrong they worried Joseph would retaliate. But instead Joseph told them, "Don't be afraid. Am I in the place of God? You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done . . ." Genesis 50:19-20.

My friends there is forgiveness.
God worked everything that happened in Mike's life for his good.
Period.

Folks helping out in the kitchen while I was with Mike - bless you!

I have been there and I know I am forgiven. Don't let the tempter take away your peace.

Momsters, can you thank God even for the heartaches? Do you trust him enough to know he is working all this out for you and your child's good?

1 Thessalonians 5:16 Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Yesterday was a really tough day. I put one foot in front of the other. I prayed. I thought about the other things God is asking me to do in my life.
He still wants me to be a wife.
He still wants me to be a mother.
He still wants me to be a grandmother.
I am still a child of God and I need to glorify him with my life.
I press on toward the goal . . .

Today I joined my sisters and brothers in Christ in worship, praise and thanksgiving. Through communion I was assured once again of the forgiveness I have through Christ.

I have peace. I have joy. I am thankful. I have renewed strength.
I hope you all do too.

I have started my thank you notes. I am enjoying reflecting on all the blessings God has given me over the past few weeks. I'm hoping to share some of those with you as time permits.

Last night was the first homecoming dance for our Richie. He had a blast. Thank you Becki and Becky for helping with Richie!

Love these guys!

Blessings to you!