Mikey Comes Home

My sister was over this past weekend. She had been in Florida to see her son Gary (the Green Beret) who recently returned home from serving in South America when all this happened with Mikey. It was hard for her to be so far away and try and follow what was going on. I know she prayed constantly. Thankfully, she made it home in time to say good-bye to Mike. 

She was helping me collect addresses for my thank you notes and as we were talking she made a comment about the Brother that brought Mike home from the hospital. I don't remember how she said it but I remember thinking something was odd. She asked something like how did he hold on. I said well he's trained to know how to hold someone sick. Terri said, "Yes, but all that way . . ." I looked at her funny and then realized that she thought Mike came home on the back of a motorcycle! LOL

So to alleviate any rumors ;) I thought I would tell you all how this came about.

The story of how we got to the point that Mike requested to come home is a whole other blog post for another day. We will start here with the decision that Mike had made to come home to die.

Grandma comes to say good-bye to Mikey.

Brooke, his NP knew Mike's wishes. She had the day off but arranged to get everything moving as quickly as possible. Timing was very important.

To fully understand what happened you need to know that Mike has spent years of his life inpatient at UW Madison. YEARS. I stopped counting after 5 full years of inpatient status.

Playing cards with his favorite nurse for the very last time. They both had a good cry
together and then they did what they always did - they lived fully.

I can honestly say that probably about 95% or better of the people Mike came in contact with were very supportive and loving of him. But there was that 5%. Some of them down right cruel. It happens. Mean people exist. There were also times when Mike had trouble understanding where a doctor or nurse was coming from and that caused friction. He wasn't perfect either. He dealt with it amazingly well and like I said, 95% of the time there was no issue.

It made me appreciate the good - the doctors and nurses who treated Mike with dignity and respect. God bless these men and women. Thankfully, they were all on board during Mike's final round.

Mike had incredible coping mechanisms - he played guitar to ease the tension

The morning after Mike made his decision, he was sitting up and doing what he always does, planning his day and living it fully. When I asked him how he was doing his reply was, "Well, I woke up today so I may as well finish it out." LOL, that kid!

Mary came in mid morning and told him that she was trying really hard to arrange his trip home but that they were having trouble finding a way to get him home. She said, "Mike, it may take us another day to work this all out. You see, you need a lot of oxygen and then there is the bipap. We need to find a hospice that will accept this and then a transport crew that can deal with getting you home. We don't want anything to happen while you make the hour and a half trip." Mary was very compassionate knowing that Mike had the expectation that he would be home that day.

It was tough to see his IV slowed to a maintenance dose. No more antibiotics.
Just enough to keep his line from clotting while they waited for heparin to unhook Mike from the pole.

Mike looked over at her and in his weak voice said, "Oh, well my brother can take me home." Mary looked at me and I looked at Mary and I'm sure we were both thinking the same thing - he obviously wasn't understanding or didn't hear her correctly. But with all the dignity and respect of a saint Mary replied, "Well, Mike we need to find someone with an XXX/??certification to be able to release you."

Without missing a beat Mike said, "Yeah, my brother can do helicopters and stuff so he's good" and then he picked up his phone to try and text his brother. With wide eyes Mary said, "Mike, do you know the name of the company he works for?" Mike said, "Ahhh, Life something . . . it's in Waupun."

Mary left. It wasn't that much later and I believe it was Mary again who came back and told him, "Mike, we contacted Lifestar and your brother Shannon (Radar) is working today. He has to bring someone to Madison so we are checking to see if he can take you home when he is finished." 

Things were pretty crazy. I had lists of things that had to be done so I was busy calling to get our house ready and things delivered. Katie left to go help get the house ready. My girlfriend Gail came in an instant from Neenah. Paul was home rearranging furniture and almost blew out his back.

I was waiting to get prescriptions. Once I got them in my hand I left UW Madison for the very last time as the mother of a patient. It was surreal. Mike's father (Big Mike), Uncle Bob and Mikey's girlfriend Amy stayed to follow with Mikey. Traffic was awful. In 31 years I had never come to a complete stop and had to wait like I did that late afternoon. I thought about Mike in an ambulance. Would they get stuck? Would they have enough oxygen? Was Radar going to be able to get him? Would it be a stranger? Would Mike make it home?


Brothers

I got home about 30 minutes before Mike. He arrived and they brought him out on a stretcher. They wheeled him up to the steps. Yes, STEPS. Yikes we have a bunch of them. This man bent over and helped Mike up and as he turned I said, "Radar! It IS you! You made it! I didn't recognize you without your vest!" He just smiled and stayed on his task of gently carrying his brother into his home.

I am my brother's keeper!

Carrying out the request of his brother to die peacefully at home. Not at a hospital.

Not on the way in an ambulance.

At home, surrounded by the people he loves.

Because brothers do stuff like that for each other.

Radar, Mike's brother, is a Critical Care Paramedic with flight endorsement. God bless him!

From the moment Mike made his decision to come home to die in peace, until he was buried in the ground a week and a half later, Mike was continually surrounded by people he loves. Never left alone - per his request. Never in the hands of a stranger.

Proverbs 18:24 "A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."

And that my friends is how Mike's final request to come home was granted. God bless each and every one of you who helped make this possible. All the people mentioned in this post and all the people who prayed.

Blessings to each and every one of you!

Love, love, love.